5:49am - Picture me, snuggled in my bed, cozy, all tucked under the covers, ceiling fan spinning, moving the air just right to make sleep feel a little like heaven...when all of a sudden I hear "Momma....me....'wake"...it was quiet at first, and then she started to get a little louder, and then the ABC's started, quietly, Sweet Lil Avery got through "C" several times before giving up and moving into what sounded like a two way conversation with "Piggie", it was almost like she was morphing her voice to emulate the way you would imagine "Piggie" to sound.
5:57am -I am still snuggled in bed, after a solid 8 minutes of dialogue between Avery and her bedmates (of the stuffed variety), Riley realizes that the little one isn't going to shut her precious little yapper anytime soon, so he gets up, while standing on the bed, one paw cutting off circulation to my left thigh, shakes his ears, which sounds alarmingly similar to what I envision a helicopter landing in your bedroom to sound like. Avery hears the commotion and abruptly yells "Momma, wake....GET ME.....MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAA"
5:59am - Breaking my, "avoid going to get that little darling before 6am if you can help it" rule, I throw the warm and cuddly covers off of me, Riley dives off the bed and we hurry down the hall to get Avery before she wakes the dead and the neighbors, not to mention her sister who is in the room next door, sleeping with the door open.
6am - Avery greets me, standing at the end of her crib, arms full of "blankie", "piggie" and "monkey". I snatch her up, and in a "you are so stinkin' lucky that you are cute, because I went to bed at 12:20am and wasn't planning on seeing 5 as the first digit on the clock" voice that it is still "night-night" time and we are going back to Mommy's bed to snuggle
*Normally this elicits a huge fit and an urgent demand for "SNACKS" (aka Welch's Fruit Snacks, the snack of choice at 5am)
6:01am - With no sign of a fit, I plop her down on the bed, Riley has since claimed his spot on the bed, far too close to Avery's newly assigned spot in her opinion and their battle begins. "Riley, move"....to which Riley does just that, he moves closer to her, her response "Riley....way" (go away). I have turned on the TV, Wow Wow Wubbzy is now blaring from the TV and Avery and Riley are going back and forth on personal space issues and I don't see a truce in the near future, so I suggest that I take Riley outside and feed him to which Avery springs to her feet, while standing on the bed and offers to "Help You"....she jumps into my arms and the three of us head for the stairs.
6:04am - I am now having a small panic attack that I am downstairs and have yet to brush my teeth, I usually brush my teeth before going to get Avery, I need to have clean teeth soon after my peepers open, and yet now I am downstairs without line of sight to clean teeth. Riley is fed, he is scarfing down his food and 6 pills, did I mention that he is highly medicated? I provide him with clean water, witness some slobbery type particles floating in his water, give a thought to cleaning out the bowl, out loud say "nah" and move right along.
6:09am - I find Avery camped out in front of the pantry door, sorting through the snacks that take up the bottom of the pantry. She is now on her feet making her way towards me, picture me lounging on the couch in PJ's with dirty teeth that are starting to making my skin crawl. "Momma....2 Snacks"...she then barks "Apple Juice Please....Red Please" which basically means Crystal Light, since we don't have Apple Juice and the only red juice in the fridge is likely Crystal Light. "How about some Milk or Water?" seems like a reasonable counter to her request "No, Red Please, Help You" by her tone of voice I choose the path most often traveled when dealing with Avery and give right on in, 6:09am is not my finest hour and you bet your bottom dollar that it is not what I like to call my "stand your ground and start the day off horribly" hour either.
6:12am - Red Juice - Check, Welch's Fruit Snack - Check and FiberOne Bar - Check, Avery in my lap, watching Extreme Couponing on the couch while Riley trots around the house landing helicopters which each step.
6:15am - Riley decides with all this prancing around that going outside would be a good idea, so he makes his way to the French Doors in the morning room, I see him making his way in that direction, he proceeds to stick his head between the blinds and the door and whip his head back and then move it out of the way so that the blinds will smack against the door and make me aware of what I am clearly already aware of...that he would like to go outside and do his business.
6:15am and 30 seconds: Riley goes flying off the top deck, and lands on the bottom deck, the fur on his back standing up, he is huffing and puffing, clearly there has been some unauthorized entry into his domain. Avery who is now standing at the door watching this fool get all worked up, turns, looks up at me and says "Crazy, Riley" you got that right sweetheart. He then clears the steps again and moves his 85lb body to the other side of the top deck to the stairs that face the road, he now starts barking his face off at someone and their dog who just happen to be jogging by in that very moment, to which Avery yells with force "Riley, Hush"
6:18am - Riley makes his way back into the house, all out of breath, and begins doing laps between the kitchen and the family room, not sure what to do with his nervous, protective energy. Avery and I are now back on the couch, Extreme Couponing has been on pause and I am just itching to hit play and see if this chick can bring it home and save north of 90%...
6:27am - I start to hear footsteps upstairs, and then I hear those precious little footsteps on the stairs and then I hear Avery yell "Sister...stairs....LALA", Olivia makes her way to the couch and hunkers in for always inspiring 10 minutes of Fresh Beat Band, Olivia is on my lap and Avery is snuggled up next to me with her head on my arm, chomping on her FiberOne Bar...Fruit Snacks had already been devoured.
6:40am - Time to make our way upstairs so I can jump in the shower and get the girls ready to start their day. Olivia makes her way peacefully up the stairs, Avery decides to get intimately acquainted with each and every step on our way upstairs. "Avery, come on darling, no playing on the stairs", her response "ME PLAY" and of course I response with the always powerful eye roll, and say "Avery, listen to my words, please hold onto the railing and walk up the stairs", to which she lays herself on the 3rd stairs and starts rolling around. Olivia has now come down to the landing to see what the hold up is. Riley has one paw on the bottom step but isn't sure where to come from here because his path to the landing is being taken up by a 30lb 2 year old whose body is creating a major obstacle.
6:46am - Yes, 6 minutes later we are all upstairs, so if you are wondering what took 6 minutes, and how many stairs we have, we have 18 stairs, and just do yourself a favor and re-read the 6:40am paragraph/commentary several times and that will play out the last 6 minutes for you, paraphrased of course. Because I am sure I threw in a few "For-the-Love-of-Pete, get your keester up the stairs", instead of always using the terms of endearment such as "darling or sweetie" that want to roll so carefully off my tongue the minute I open my mouth for the 437th time to correct behavior or jump start behavior.
6:49am - I wrangle Avery into the bedroom, lock the door, help Olivia get settled on the bed, make sure that Fresh Beat Band is still on, watch Avery make her way into my closet, her first selection, nude heels, followed by my very favorite stripped Coach flats, the girl changes her shoes like its her job. I am finally making my way into the bathroom to start the shower when I hear a rather large thud followed by the door rattling, I realize in that moment that Riley didn't make his way into the bedroom before I shut and locked the door (locking your children in your bedroom = okay). So I find him on the other side of the door, having just checked his entire body into it, he is now wagging his too-long, but still stub like tail, ducking his head, feeling a tad silly for throwing his 85lb frame into the bedroom door, he makes his way into the bedroom, makes his approach and launches himself onto the bed, plops himself down and immediately assumes the "nothing is going to phase me, if these kids touch me, I won't be feeling it because I am dead to the world" position. I am finally able to think about that shower, and turning the water on....and oh yeah, BRUSHING MY TEETH. So while I stand there brushing my teeth, Avery yells "Teeth", runs for the door, unlocks it, makes her way down the hallway, grabs Olivia's electric toothbrush and returns with it in her mouth. Sure is a good thing I had that door locked in the first place...with that, I turn on the shower and imagine how peaceful Brad's morning has been, in a quiet hotel room in Tennessee...and it is then that I realize he is likely still sleeping. I feel as though I have cured cancer, competed in a triathlon, made solid progress on revamping the national public assistance program, all while drafting a influential bill to bring our troops home, and that lucky duck of a husband of mine is still dreaming of mountain bikes and mellow mushroom pizza. Before stepping in the shower....I do manage to grab my toothbrush to rid my teeth of the sleep scum that has set up shop on my pearly whites. Phew...can't wait to see what the rest of the day holds for me!
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