Tough...

So last week while I was traveling Brad asked me if it would be okay if "M's" Mom ("M" was a Fraternity Brother of Brad's, who passed away a year ago) stayed with us for the night, she would be passing through town. Of course I was thrilled to be able to host her and keep her out of a hotel, but I wasn't sure what to expect. I had only met "M"'s Mom at his wedding and while Brad was close with her throughout college, he hadn't kept in touch all that well until "M"s passing in March of 2009, but since then Brad has kept in touch with his parents quite well, I am proud of him for being that guy to them, sounds like they have had a tough time and needed one of "M"s friends to be there to vent to, etc.

Well she arrived and she was great with the girls, Olivia was a nightmare at times in full show-off mode, but overall she was great and Avery was a hoot, a true wrecking ball. She told us the story of his passing, which of course brought me to tears and then she went into how difficult the last year has been on her and her husband, and her other two daughters.  You probably recall me blogging about "M" passing, he left a wife and two sons behind, and while I can't even begin to imagine what any of them are going through, the whole situation just breaks my heart. I am sad for "R" who lost her husband, I am sad for M & M who lost their Dad, and my heart aches for "K" and "M" who lost their son, its just tragic. I can't begin to judge what they are all feeling and whether their reactions and actions are appropriate, because clearly I have never been in this situation, but "K" shared with us that "R" has been seeing someone and living with someone since Halloween, so she had moved on about 7 months after "M"s passing...like I said, I can't begin to judge how "R" is grieving, it just makes me think, would my life go on without Brad? Would I throw myself into my children's lives even more so than I already do? Would I even make time for myself? "R" and the boys let off a few balloons on the 1 year anniversary of "M"'s passing, the boys sent the balloons up to heaven and sent along some bottled up hugs and kisses for "M", talk about the sweetest thing huh? Good Grief, its so sad.

I have told Brad before, but I am putting it on record, by blogging about it, so knock on wood, but if sometime were to happen to me, I would totally want him to move on, but with the right girl, the right girl for him and most imporantly the right girl for our girls. A girl that I would approve of. I did tell him however though that I would have some conditions of satisfaction - HA.  (I just tried to type them out and now I can't stop crying, so that will have to wait for another day). And would I move on...who the heck knows, does anyone ever know until they are in that situation, probably not, but Brad isn't so sure he would want me to move on, he is feeling pretty good about me mourning him for the rest of my life - nice of him, isn't it? Totally kidding...well actually I am not, I think he did say that, but I think he was kidding...

Enough talk about that stuff...jeesh, that is depressing and scary and super duper sad. I realized today when I was writing in a few Bridal/Baby Shower events on our Family Calendar that we basically have something on the calendar every single weekend until late July after Olivia's Birthday...how is that possible? Good Grief.