Monday, April 26, 2010


That is exactly how I am feeling right now, numb, I am in shock. My dear friend Adam's older sister Jill passed away today suddenly, she was 7.5 months pregnant, and the little darling didn't make it either. I can't even begin to express how sad I am, and not for me, yes, I knew her well, and yes I loved spending time with her and thought she was one of the best around, but for her family, my heart breaks for them, her husband of just a year, lost his precious wife and his unborn child, her brothers, her father, and her mother, oh my goodness, her mother. They are best friends, they have one of those mother-daugther relationships that people write books about, I wish I could help ease her Mom's pain, but there are no words for this type of pain and loss. Losing your daugther, it just hits home, no my daughter isn't in her 30's getting ready to have a child of her own, but losing a daughter is losing a daughter, and it can't hit much closer to home than that. I don't have a legit, blood sibling, but I can't imagine that pain either.

(Jayden, Adam and Jill)

Adam and his sister also had one of those relationships you dream of, very close, always there for each other, each other's biggest fans, defenders of each other to no end, and the admiration they had for each other could move mountains, and moves my soul just thinking about it. While he may not know it now, or even be able to grasp it anytime soon, he was beyond lucky to have her for a sister, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, she felt exactly the same way.

Life is precious, far too short and gone before you know it, I don't have the words, I don't know how to put the sadness I feel on paper (or the screen), but I know that I need to do a better job of telling those that I love how much they mean to me...and often. I have a lot of sadness around me right now, with the loss at work and my dear friend is who is watching her mother lose a battle with cancer...I just wish I could do something to help ease the pain of those who are losing or lost their loved ones.

To break the is a funny Olivia story. I was sitting at the dinner table with her tonight, I was sad, she could tell, she asked me why I was so sad, I told her it was because my friend had gone to heaven tonight, and that we now have another angel watching out for us. She said "Heaven.....I wanna go", and I looked at her with tears in my eyes and said "Oh honey, I want you to go too but not for a very, very long time" and then she said "But can I go to a hotel first? Is Heaven like a hotel, because I wanna go to a hotel", clearly I have some educating to do...but at least she made me laugh.


Jeni said...

Leigh I'm so sorry to read about all the tragedy surrounding you in recent days. Why does it always happen in groups like that? I am forever impressed at how level-headed you are and how you really seem to work through sadness. My heart goes out to you and your loved ones that are dealing with all this.

3guysandagirl said...

I heard yesterday. Very sad day. Thinking of all the family and friends during this time.

maura said...

Oh my gosh Leigh, I cannot imagine the pain and sadness. Travel safe and know that you and your friends are in my thoughts.