Friday, March 30, 2012

Five on Friday: Better Mom Edition

Summer 2009

I haven't seen the girls since Saturday - can you believe it? I am missing them like crazy, but oddly enough I am so thrilled that they were able to spend a week making memories with Bina & PawPaw that I didn't want to be selfish about how much I missed them. I am so thankful that the girls have close relationships with their Grandparents, it is probably close to the top of the list of things I am thankful for these days, growing up I was always so jealous of the kids who used to talk about having sleepovers at their Grandparents houses.  (while we were going around the circle in Gym Class, which oh, btw was at our Town Hall because our Elementary School didn't have a gym)

While the girls were away I got a break from the fussing and the nagging, which was nice, but it also gave me a chance to sit back and reflect on why I fuss and nag so much, and the conclusion is that we get each other at our worsts, I am exhausted from a full day in the office, they are tired and cranky in the evenings too, and we don't get to enjoy each other as much as we should.  Well folks, I am here to say, I want that to change. I know it won't be a light switch change, I know it won't be easy, but after a week away from my beauties I am hell-bent on being a better Momma to them.  I want to be a fun Mom, but a fun Mom who teaches them manners without nagging or fussing at them.  A fun Mom who shows them kindness so they want to be kind to others, a fun Mom who doesn't communicate in a raised voice unless danger is insight.  I yell far too often and I hate it. I don't want to be a yeller. So today I thought I would share the Five Things I want to work on when it comes to being a better Momma to our girls.

Summer 2009

1) Listen when they are talking - stop multi-tasking, give them my undivided attention, ignore the iPhone, ignore the TV, or rather, put the iPhone down, shut the TV off, put down the People Magazine (but don't worry, I will still be reading it)down and give those beauties the attention they deserve. They want to tell me about their day, and I really do want to hear about it, I just need to show them how much I want to hear about it. 
Summer 2009

2) Play More - get on the floor and play with them when they are playing and I am watching TV, shut the boob tube off and get on the floor and play with the girls.  Get messy with them. Run around and play tag with them in the yard, don't just sit in the lawn chair and watch (while I do love to sit in the lawn chair and watch, the junk in my trunk needs me to get up and get moving).  Brad told me that he played with them outside last night at his Parents house, just ran around like crazy and had a blast, we need more moments like that, less fussing, more playing.

March 2009

3) Stop Wishing Time Away - it is no secret that bedtime has been a battle at our house for quite some time, Avery wanting me to lay with her, Olivia fussing because she wants one more kiss (or one more drink of water, or needs to go to the bathroom one more time) and I often times find myself wishing the night away, wishing they would just leave me alone and go to sleep because I need my free time, but I need to balance getting them to self soothe and go to sleep on their own with grasping every single minute I have with them.  I don't want to wish the time away just because the time isn't easy, I want to savor the moments I have with the girls, even if it means dealing with more fussing, I shouldn't tell them to be quiet and go to sleep like a heartless son of a gun, I should give them another kiss, tell them I love them and remind them that I can't wait to see them in the mornings but that sleep is very important for their bodies to grow big and strong.  Why don't I think like a 4 year old, why can't I communicate to them in ways that make sense to them and help me stop fussing at them and use gentle caring words.

4) Let my Hair Down - be silly, run through sprinklers more, dance with the girls, turn off the TV, turn on the music, participate in puppet shows, use crazy voices and just hoop it up with my beauties. While maintaining a certain degree of manners, let them be silly at the dinner table and be silly with them.  Sometimes I am wild and crazy (relatively speaking) and other times I am an uptight (not to be confused with an uptown) girl, I need to strike a balance so that I am a good role model, but also help them not take themselves too seriously. I love that I can laugh at myself, and actually find it to be one of my better qualities, I have no problem admitting that I did something silly (even stupid) and often like to tell stories that remind others just how silly I am.

5) Let Them Be Little - they are three and four years old, for the Love of Pete, I need to remind myself of that far more often than I do today.  They don't get it, when I ask them why they wrote on their expensive dresser with a pencil they really don't know why they did it, or if they do, they can't communicate their motives to me, and no matter how much I harp on it, I am likely not going to get the answer, they are kids, they do things that don't make sense. For crying out loud, I know a ton of adults that make decisions that I can't explain.  I want them to know that being four means playing games and getting dirty, it doesn't mean preparing for the Kindergarten test every time you get a free moment. It doesn't mean that when your sister takes your toy away, and you slug her, that you are going to be a horrible person, you are just a kid who is annoyed that your sister took your toy.

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