Monday, August 22, 2011

Who? Avery?

Amazon came through, the box arrived just in time to get me off the ledge...and so far this is what I know thanks to Raising your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka 

On the Bad Days: "being the parent of a spirited child is confusing, frustrating, taxing, challenging and guilt inducing."

On the Good Days: "A warm snuggle and sloppy kiss awaken you.  He captures you with his funny antics as he stands in front of the dog, a glob of peanut butter clinging to a butter knife hidden in the palm of his hand and asks, Is Olivia Jessica a rotten sister?  Riley The dog listens attentively.  The hand moves just slightly up and down like a magical wand.  Riley The dog's nose follows the scent appearing to nod in agreement.  You can't help laughing". (Totally would happen in our house)

Why "Spirited"?

"I realized that Avery Joshua was much like her his father, a high-energy, sensitive, passionate and prudent adult whom I love dearly.  And so it was the good days that made me search for a better word to describe Avery Josh.  On those days I realized that this child who could drive me crazy, possessed personality traits that were actually strengths when they were understood and well guided."

That above section brought tears to my eyes.  I saw in print what I have verbalized and thought for months.  That while my precious Avery is a challenge to parent as a two year old, I can't wait to see the young woman she becomes.  The traits that make her difficult, are likely the ones that will take her far in life and help propel her success, who would I be to try and tame those or even squash them.  I need to find a way to parent her and keep those traits in tact.

I am on page 18 and I already know that the next 450 pages are going to be well worth my time. Being the Mom Avery needs me to be is top of mind, much more so than  just being her Mom.  I need to be the Mom that she needs, the Mom that helps her recognize her true potential and I have learned in just her two short years of life, that the Mom I am to her and the Mom I am to Olivia aren't likely going to be the same, they need different things from me, but the one constant is, they need to know I love them for them, and I always will. Motherhood is complex, it can fill your heart, break it and fill it up again in a matter of minutes!

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