Make new friends....but keep the old...

One is silver

the other is gold

I am not the boldest blogger out there, sometimes I blog to chronicle the lives of my little ones, my marriage and just our day to day family adventures, and other times I feel the need to blog to get it out. Do you know what I mean? I happen to be a quick little typer and find myself wanting to journal here rather than write in my old school journal, partially because its easier and partially because I would like to hear your thoughts.

Friendships change, I know that, I am not naive, I know things don't stay the same forever, and as we move and grow up, friendships take more work than they did in the past. It was easy when I lived with my closest friends at JMU, no effort was needed to keep that friendship fire burning, but its a different time, our lives are very different and I get that, I really do. But it just makes me sad. I pride myself on putting a lot into my friendships, I would hope my friends would agree, but I find myself having to pull back a little in order to save my sanity. You can only put in so much effort, only to have it not reciprocated before you start to resent your friends and frankly get a little annoyed...who am I kidding, a lot annoyed.

I am a busy girl, I work full-time, operate as a single parent 1-3 nights a week, raise two small children, plan parties and attempt to foster and build long lasting friendships. And honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't want to stop doing any of that stuff, I like being busy, I like having to multi-task.

You are probably wondering where I am going with all of this, because frankly, I myself am a little lost, but let me see if I can clear it up for you and myself.

I stopped at Target this afternoon and ran into a friend of a close friend, we chatted for a few minutes and she asked if I had spoken to or seen said friend recently, I said no, she quickly answered that she hadn't either. I was saddened by that news. I was holding out hope that they were still very close friends, that they still kept in touch and hung out, because frankly I have been worried about our friend. Worried that her friendships have taken such a backseat in her life that she has lost touch with those that were once closest to her. And from the surface, without digging deep, that appears to be what has happened. I am sad, for myself because at times I feel like I have lost a close friend, and while I know that sounds super dramatic, and that I haven't lost her, sometimes I feel like I have. But at the end of the day I am the most sad for her. I want her to be able to balance being a Mom and being a friend because I worry that when our children hit middle school and want nothing to do with us she is going to wake up and realize that her friends have gone out and made new great friends.

I have been very fortunate that I have made some great friends since moving to Richmond, some of which are my dear neighbors who I hold very close to my heart. I know that our friendships are easy, we see each other every few days, and in the warm weather we see each other almost every day, that helps, but that isn't the critical piece to our friendship, yes we live across the street from each other, BUT we also keep in touch via the phone and e-mail daily. Just like Jules and Ellie from Cougartown. I love having that relationship with my neighbors, I love being able to just walk into their houses and grab a glass of water, plop down on their couch and have a chat. I wish all of my close friends lived next door! How great would that be?

But that isn't real life, I get it. I am just sad. I miss high school, where you saw your close friends every single day. I miss college, where I lived with my close friends and spent almost every waking hour together. Don't get me wrong, I have great friends, many of which put in a TON of effort to keep that friendship fire burning, and for those I am forever grateful, I just wish there was more time in the day to focus on friendship for those that can't seem to fit it into the 24 hours that currently exist in the day.