Perspective...

Over the last week I feel like on a daily basis I am smacked in the face with perspective. With the tragic diabetic coma of Chris, to his passing a few days later, to the tragic and sudden heart attack and death of Mike, to now the story of a 5 month old fighting for his life. www.mycharmingkids.net. This woman is amazing, her words move me to tears, but her strength leaves me in awe. Her little boy, Stellan has been in the hospital for the last week fighting for his life and she is so thankful for the day he was born and took his first breath, she isn't worried about tomorrow (even though at times she does, her real perspective is on being thankful for the seconds and moments you have and have had). At 20 weeks pregnant they found out that Stellan had SVT (super fast heart beat) and they never imagined he would take a breath on his own, he was born healthy and remained healthy for the first 5 months of his life, but the last several days he has been fighting for every breath and beat of his very tired heart. Its in over drive right now...

I have to admit, while I didn't want to feel sorry for myself after Avery was born, a part of me felt cheated, she had been healthy in the womb, the pregnancy had been easy, delivery and labor quick and complication free, yet moments after her arrival she was taken from me and the next few days were scary, filled with fear, not with the joy I should have felt after just giving birth to a beautiful little girl (keep in mind, I am using the term little loosely). I thought I was handling it well at the time, I knew we were lucky, that things could have been a lot worse, it just wasn't what I was expecting when I arrived at the hospital that morning.

Over the last week I have spent a lot of time thinking about how my life is going to go, and I have realized that I have no idea, and likely very little control over how its going to go, but the one thing I can control is how I live it. I can treasure each and every moment I have with the ones I love, I can treat my loved ones with tender loving care every step of the way, I can forgive those that let me down and I can focus my energy on seeing the good in people.

It doesn't matter that my hair is dry and I can't style it the way Heather does (my hair lady), what matters is that Olivia loves to play with my hair.

Please send your prays out to the McKinney family who are praying day and night for their little man Stellan and please keep your thoughts and prayers coming for the Stolarcyk family, Mike's widow (I can't believe Robin is now a widow at the age of 33) and his two little boys are falling back into the daily routine. She said to Brad before he left the funeral on Monday that it was back to the real world, back to saying no to the boys, and back to just being a Mom...but now without a Dad to balance her out. Last night she posted on Mike's facebook page...his youngest son Mason said "Momma, the boo-boo on Daddy's heart is all better now that he is in heaven". Those simple, yet profound words...all from a 3 year old little boy.